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John McEnroe teams with Trivago guy on crowd pacification

Douglaston, NY – Tennis legend and broadcaster John McEnroe and Tim Williams – the “Trivago guy” – have formed a consulting firm to offer personal services to cities experiencing protests.

Said Mr. Williams, “John and I met a while back at a fundraiser, discovering that we had something rare in common. Over the last few months, we’ve started and advanced a dialogue, refining our ideas for how we can put our commonality to good use. We’ve experimented informally and are ready to go public with our plans.”

What the two men discovered they have in common is the ability to look as though they haven’t slept for days. While that would not normally be considered an asset, the pair have found its silver lining.

Working on a hunch that their seeming low energy level can be “transferred” to others as yawns have observed to be contagious, the two began taking their talents to the streets, literally.

“One day we just decided to walk through a local street fair”, offered Mr. McEnroe. “We walked in the opposite direction of the crowd, making casual eye contact with as many people as we could manage. When we reached the end of the crowd and looked back, we noticed many people doing a beeline for benches and chairs or settling down on the lawn.”

The next experiment for the pair was something more tricky, a street protest that was teeming with amped-up marchers. Using the same method of walking against the grain, the pair was able to disperse the crowd within minutes. Mr. Williams recalls, “As the streets emptied, we noticed several people actually laying in the street motionless. Law enforcement initially thought they were staging an impromptu die-in but later realized that they were just sleeping.”

The men are ready to take on greater and more charged protests, holding the belief that to whom much is given, much is expected. As Mr. McEnroe surmised, “If Tim and I can help diffuse tensions in a passive and peaceful manner, we are happy to do it.”

Filed in: Business, Politics

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