Trump partners with Minwax to improve “tone”

Upper Saddle River, NJ – The lunch break routine of Minwax coworkers Jillian Berenson and Spencer Golderg is highly polished. It includes grabbing their favorite table and warming up their homemade meals. But on June 15, 2015, for a reason that remains elusive, they turned on the TV to catch up with the world around them.

Migrant family found living in Trump’s hair

Miami, FL – In a stunning development that comes at a crucial time in the Republican Presidential primary, a migrant family has been found taking up residence in candidate Donald Trump’s hair. The family was first spotted by AP photographer Thomas Stenton as he covered the candidate at a recent rally.

Students celebrate $19 trillion debt milestone

East Mendenburg, PA – It was a long time coming for the 10th grade Financial Literacy class in East Mendenburg High School in central Pennsylvania. Months prior, on their way out the door after a lesson students handed their teacher Mr. Von Burgen a sheet of paper containing a date.

To keep heads from exploding, liberals prepare for Trump presidency

Hollywood, CA – The possibility that Donald J Trump will be elected President has caught liberals unprepared and scrambling for cover. Written off by pundits early on as a shallow, bombastic egomaniac, Trump was given little chance of lasting under the withering lights of presidential politics.

O’Malley Joins Presidential Race, Challenges Putin to a Shirtoff

On Saturday, former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley declared himself a candidate to be the Democratic nominee for President in the 2016 election. Then, he threw down the gauntlet in dramatic fashion by challenging Russian President Vladimir Putin to a Shirtoff.

John McEnroe teams with Trivago guy on crowd pacification

Douglaston, NY – Tennis legend and broadcaster John McEnroe and Tim Williams – the “Trivago guy” – have formed a consulting firm to offer personal services to cities experiencing protests.
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